Anita & Ron’s Wedding

It has been non-stop over these past few weeks since returning from our recent visit to California. We just attended our friends Anita and Ron’s wedding in London.

The Bride and Groom

It seems like just yesterday that I introduced them to each other, when in fact it was more than a year and a half ago. Things feel as if they are happening so fast.

“You May Kiss the Bride”

“And You May Kiss the Groom!”

It was a beautiful wedding and reception. We met some old friends and made new ones.

Maxine and Anita

Steve, Brian and Danny

The next day Steve and I were off to the Languedoc Roussillon region in the south of France to revisit the area where we are looking to buy a house. We are planning for early retirement.

Funny thing is that Anita and Ron have also decided to make France their home so we are going to be neighbors – actually about an hour and a half away from each other. We had the opportunity to visit them and have dinner at their place in France the end of February on our first trip to the area in search of a property.

We look forward to many years of fun times and making memories together with them and the new friends that we will make along the way.

The Happy Couple

A Short Taxi Ride

It is amazing what you can learn on a short taxi ride.

When we moved to England four years ago I chose, for the first time since I was 16 years old, not to have my own car. The main reason being that I wanted to immerse myself in the English culture and I know that many people use public transportation to get around town. Living in a city with a population of 100,000 people and the 4^th largest cathedral in the UK, I felt that it was conducive to walking everywhere that I needed to go on a regular basis. The other things that I needed a car for I could do with Steve when he gets home from work. I do have my UK driving license so I can drive the car it is just that Steve takes it to work every day.

Walking contributes to a healthier lifestyle, getting the exercise that I need every day, it is also better for the environment and it saves the expense of owning and maintaining a car. I have found that the places that I discover, the people that I meet and the stories that I hear far outweigh the few inconveniences of not having my own car.

Having said all of that, there are times when I need to take a taxi and today was one of those times.

After my Doctor’s appointment I stood outside the front of his office shopping bags in hand waiting for the taxi to pick me up to take me uphill to our apartment. The taxi drove up and I opened the door and placed my shopping bags and handbag on the back seat, stepped in and sat down, and as the taxi drove away, the conversation began.

My taxi driver Leo, as they call him, is from Morocco. He hears my American accent and asks me where I am from. I answer, “Southern California.” He replied, “I knew it was an American accent.”. Then he told me that his sister is a doctor living in Texas.

I like to get to know people and hear their stories even if it is just for a few minutes, so I asked him how long he had been driving a taxi. He answered, “Just a few months, it is only a part time job for me.” I then asked him what his other job is. “I work as a chef in a local restaurant here in town.” Steve and I have eaten in many of the local restaurants so I asked him which one. He tells me and I said, “That is one of our favourites.” We then start to compare notes on the changes it has gone through since the owner passed away and the manager, a friend of both of us, has left.

We both agreed that it just isn’t the same.

We then arrived at my apartment, I paid him the fare and he said that it was nice to meet me and I said “We will see you at the restaurant for dinner.” I smiled as he drove off to his next client.

It just goes to show that we live in a city with a close community where everyone seems to know someone that you know.

Reversing Roles

Unfortunately I am referring to my ageing parents.  Now I am sure that many of you “Baby Boomers” out there will be able to relate to what I am about to share with you about my ageing parents. I am dealing with their situation living almost 6000 miles away.

I just returned from a three-week, unplanned and hastily arranged trip to take care of my parents in Southern California.  I had received a call from my dad and he sounded very weak. He was taking longer than usual to recover from a recent stay in hospital.  This caused him to go into a down mood, not wanting to eat, questioning whether he wants to continue with dialysis three days a week, and not seeing a very bright future. This in turn was affecting my mom who was becoming emotional about their situation. She has Parkinson’s disease and it affects her coping with her own situation as well as my dad’s. This left them both hanging on the edge, not being able to deal with their declining health and their everyday life. I decided that I had to go home immediately and get them back on track. This is where the roles reversed.

As soon as I walked through the door my dad greeted me with a hug and kiss and said “I do not know how you are going to do take care of everything and get us back on track,” to which I replied, “You may not see the light at the end of the tunnel today but by the time I leave you will be seeing a rainbow at the end of the tunnel” (I love rainbows). That is when I knew that I had a big job ahead of me, and I came ready to deal with it head on. My dad was overwhelmed and asked me to take over and do whatever it was going to take to get things back in order and get them thinking about life again instead of talking about and preparing for death.

I began with getting their finances in order, then arranging for more hours of a home care giver, as well as organising their house, beginning with a garage containing a small mountain of 30 years of stuff to sift and sort through, and a home office in the same condition. Then on to preparing dinner and doing their food shopping.  My mom needed help getting dressed, and at night I would help her get ready for bed, help her get into the bed and then tuck her in, just like a little girl, as she is only 5 feet tall and quite little. Sometimes I would lay down next to her and we would tell stories until she fell asleep.

 

From Child to Parent to Child

My next task was to have my dad regain his confidence in driving, since he had not driven the car in a few weeks due to his lack of strength and energy from being in the hospital. He was now having physical therapy at home to restore his mobility. The therapist said that he could start driving again and get his independence back. It was a Sunday and we put my mom in the back seat of the car, joking with her that dad was going to be Driving Miss Daisy around the neighbourhood, and she loved that idea. I decided to take my dad driving to the same parking lot that my mom took me to when she taught me how to drive when I was fifteen years old.

I also spent many hours of quality time with them, reminiscing about when I was a little girl, and of all of the things that we did as a family when my two sons, their grandsons Jonathan and Joshua, were little and the impact that they had on their lives. We went through photo albums and envelopes of pictures remembering all of the memories that we had created as a very close family, sharing vacations and holidays and everything in between. I wanted to remind them of the great life that they both have had and the things that they do have to look forward to, as in great-grandchildren being the most important. How much we all love them and want them to continue to be here to continue creating family memories.

As we got into the second week I had taken care of most of the important stuff and they were able to relax a bit for us to have some fun together. My mom and I sang songs as I played the piano (she loves to hear me play the piano). My dad and I got into some conversations about things that are of interest to him.

It felt as if I did a year’s worth of work in just three weeks.

Mom and Dad Looking Better

Since returning to England, I call them every day. I have been home seven times in the last three and a half years and I am ready to jump on a plane at any time that they need me.

I have done it before in less than 24 hours. My dad was to have a routine surgery that turned into an emergency. He called me at 6 pm from his hospital room in California and by 5pm the next day, I was in his hospital room with him before they took him to surgery. It took a lot of coordinating and was a very long and stressful trip for me but I did it.

It feels as if I am the parent now and they are the children.  They have been there for me throughout my life and I plan on being there for them for as long as they need me.

When Blogs Cross Paths

My husband Steve introduced me to the French Word-A-Day blog by Kristin Espinasse about a year ago. He found it while searching on the internet for life in France. Both Steve and I love France and are planning to retire there in the next few years.

After reading a few of Kristin’s blog posts, Steve felt that Kristin and I had similar writing styles and that I would relate to her stories about living in France.  She is an American living in France just as I am living in England. I immediately fell in love with French Word-A-Day. I relate to it, enjoy reading it and I just love it! I have made comments on her blog and she and her mom have  made comments on my blog and we have emailed each other over this past year planning to meet one day soon on one of our visits to Provence.

Knowing all of this you will be able to appreciate what comes next. I mentioned that we are from Orange County, Southern California, USA. Well it just so happened that her husband Jean Marc aka Chief Grape, a wine maker, was doing a tour of wine tastings around the United States. One of the places he had chosen was in Orange County. But before you get too excited, remember we live in England, and were disappointed that we would have to miss meeting him.

Due to my parents declining health I had to take an emergency flight home to take care of things there. My husband Steve ended up having a business trip to Utah though Los Angeles, staying in Orange County for a few days so we flew in together.  It just so happened that  it was the week of Chief Grape’s wine tasting event in OC.

Jean Marc and Maxine, ready to sample Rouge-Bleu

I have to find the positive in every situation and this is it – we were both able to attend the wine tasting and meet Chief Grape and others who follow Kristin’s blog. In fact we were asked by a few ladies if we were the couple visiting from England (they knew us from our comments on French Word-A-Day).  We made new friends and had a wonderful conversation with Jean Marc, and had a very enjoyable evening.

Elaine and Maxine, with Kristin’s new book, Blossoming in Provence

It was a night out that we really appreciated, considering the reason that we were back in Orange County.

This is what I call serendipities in life, on a more personal note “Maxine’s Magical Moments.” Oh yeah, we will be visiting Kristin & Jean Marc in May when we will be back in France doing more property shopping. You can visit Kristin and Jean Marc without leaving home. Visit French Word-A-Day to help me answer the question I am asked so often, “Why France?”

Now that’s service!

By the Sea, By the Sea, By the Beautiful Sea

The beautiful sea

My son Joshua spent my first full day in Southern California with me (he is my baby – 27 years old). He had his welding class final exam when I arrived in LA the night before so was not able to greet me at the airport. We decided to go to one of my favorite places, Huntington Beach Pier and Main Street.

Huntington Beach Pier

The weather was incredible for the entire five weeks of my visit. The temperature was between 70 and 85 degrees. I had to remind myself that it was December, especially when I was at the beach. The sunshine glowing on the ocean was breathtaking and breathing in the clean sea air got me high. It made me wonder if this is the best time of the year to visit or if it was out of the ordinary. Maybe it was due to global climate change. Whatever the reason I enjoyed ever single moment of it.

The weather was for the birds

The warm sea breeze was blowing through my hair as I leaned over the railing to take pictures of the surfers riding the waves onto the shore. This is the piece of California that I do miss at times, especially during the English winter that I left behind for five weeks. I thought to myself, “Just wait until all of my friends back in England see these pictures and see what I was doing during the holidays.”

Riding the waves

After taking many pictures, walking the entire length of the pier and having wonderful conversations with Joshua, we decided that we had worked up quite an appetite – the sea air can do that – so off we went to Fred’s Mexican Restaurant for a delicious lunch. Joshua and I enjoyed a beautiful day together.

Joshua at Fred's Mexican Restaurant

When Steve joined me a week later, we took the opportunity to visit a few of our friends in the area. Knowing how much I love the sea and the beach, I was really looking forward to visiting our friends Doreen & Dave who invited us to spend the day with them at their home in Manhattan Beach. They live in a beautiful three story home just a block away from the beach.

Dave & Doreen's

To begin our visit, the four of us walked down to the beach and along the rows and rows of absolutely gorgeous homes built right on the waterfront facing the sea. We walked all the way to the pier about a quarter of a mile down the beach, watching the children playing on the beach as the adults sunbathed next to them, remembering that this is December although it felt like June.

A day at the beach

We arrived at the pier and took a slow stroll down to the end, talking and taking pictures along the way.

Dave, Doreen and Steve

I caught sight of a number of surfers and got so excited that there I was again, hanging over the railing, taking a few pictures. It began as a few pictures but couldn’t stop as I watched them catch a wave and ride it towards the shore. I seemed to get mesmerized as each one took turns riding the waves on their surfboards.

Surfing the waves

I was in my element. I could have stood there all day taking this all in and loving every minute of it. However it was now time to walk back to have a delicious dinner that Doreen had prepared for us – yum –  real homemade Mexican food I just can’t get enough of it when I am in California. When we finished our meal we went out onto the terrace with a glass of wine just in time to watch the sunset. This is what I do miss about Southern California besides our family and friends, being a short drive from some of the most beautiful beaches in California and the sunshine, warm weather and walks on the pier, especially in December. Oh how I want to live by the sea, by the sea, by the beautiful sea.

Sunset

Home for the Holidays

I did not think that I would go five weeks without  writing to you, my dear readers, while I was visiting my family and friends in Southern California. But as you will read in my stories to follow, I had so many obligations and responsibilities taking care of my parents due to their poor health. By the end of each day I was emotionally and physically exhausted, which put my creative juices on hold. During the times that I was able to fit in real quality time with Jonathan & Liz and Joshua, I wanted to feel the experience, the high energy and the love for as long as I could – sometimes into the wee hours of the night, not able to write them down at the time.

But I am back now and focused and ready to share my stories with you of my visit. So here we go get ready for the ride:

The Seat-back Map

After getting up and ready to go at 4 am, Steve drove me from Lincoln to Heathrow . I was prepared as I boarded the flight to Los Angeles, an 11 hour non-stop.  I had my iPod with the airplane music playlist that I created, a few magazines and a book of word search puzzles. During the flight, I did all of the above, and talked to the guy next to me who happened to be an ex-professional football player for Newcastle United. I had a meal and a snack in between. Unfortunately there were no movies or TV programs worth watching (I usually catch up on them while on this long flight).  I usually am able to sleep for a few hours but not on this trip as I was too excited about seeing everybody especially Jonathan, Joshua and Liz.

So with this extra time, my mind raced with thoughts of home – it has been  10 months  since our last visit for Jonathan & Liz’s wedding in February. This being  a long visit (5 weeks)  I am planning on seeing a few good girlfriends, and when Steve arrives the next week we will visit with a few couples  – being here to celebrate the holidays with the whole family. Then came the thoughts of my parents’ ill health and the condition that I will find them in on this trip (6^th one in 3 years due to their failing health). So that filled a few hours of the flight. As amazing as it may sound that before I knew it, the fasten seat belt sign bing-ed on for our landing at LAX (Los Angeles International Airport).

I Love LA

Standing at the immigration queue, I was so excited knowing that my oldest son Jonathan was just outside waiting to greet me. I even was looking forward to the hour-long drive on a traffic packed freeway, giving us a chance to catch up on things uninterrupted –  well, almost until the call I got a from my parents asking where we were and when we would finally get to their house – bless them.

Hope You Didn’t “Mind the Gap” in My Blog Writing

Sorry for the gap in my blog writing and thanks to all of you that emailed me messages that you missed my stories. You encourage and inspire me to write.

I was in Southern California for five weeks over the holidays visiting our family and friends and taking care of my parents – both not well -  so my responsibilities with them were very demanding. Steve came over to join me for three weeks giving us real quality time with our sons Jonathan and Joshua and our daughter in law Liz and her family. We drove to Arizona to visit Steve’s parents and even squeezed in some time to visit with a few dear friends. We celebrated Chanukah and New Year’s Eve  and my Dad’s 80^th birthday on December 25^th by giving him a family party.

Me & the boys

So you can see why it has taken me a bit longer than usual to recuperate from that visit

Now that I have had time to get my thoughts together I will be back to writing. More about my trip soon…